Good morning! I’m Tornus (he/him), a Seattle-based kink educator, activist, community builder, and rationalist.
Want to connect with the Seattle rope community? Check out Rope in Seattle, my comprehensive guide to rope bondage in Seattle.
I teach with and run Full Circle Kink, which teaches kink in Seattle and online. We are particularly known for teaching introductory rope bondage as well as a variety of technical topics ranging from technical rigging to defamation law.
I serve on the steering committee of NARIX, the North American Rope Information eXchange. We are a twice-a-year peer-to-peer conference that brings together dedicated rope lovers from across the continent to share, learn, discuss, and experiment with the many facets of rope bondage. Our intent is to foster the growth and values of our community by empowering individuals to self-organize and provide resources and mutual aid networks to overcome barriers to community development.
I’m spinning up a new project that I’m pretty excited about but am not quite ready to talk about in public.
Left Coast Kink works behind the scenes to create and nurture better kink communities. Current LCK projects include a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) initiative and a forum for folks who run public and private sex-positive spaces in Seattle.
I’m on the advisory board of Heartland Kinbaku.
I maintain Rope in Seattle, a resource for folks who do rope in the Emerald City.
I occasionally indulge myself by teaching informal classes in obscure venues as a change of pace from the highly produced classes I specialize in teaching.
I write a lot, in part as a way of organizing my thinking. Here are a couple of my better pieces:
Not a Checklist is a different way of thinking about negotiation checklists. It’s the most popular thing I’ve ever written.
The Three Goals Model of Accountability encapsulates some of the most important things I’ve learned from being involved in a ton of accountability processes.
I was part of the team that produced the Kink Education Code of Conduct. We’re overdue for starting on version 2 of the KECC…
I co-founded and ran Suspended Animation, a Burning Man camp focused on suspension bondage.
I wrote software in a past life and had the good fortune to work with some incredibly talented people. We left some pretty good dents in the universe.
I’m fiercely idealistic: most of my projects are focused on making the world a better place. My core values are rationality, integrity, kindness, and coordination.
I believe kink communities can be vibrant, nourishing, and humane—but they generally aren’t. I spend a lot of time trying to fix that.
I’m in two very serious long-term relationships and have a rope practice partner. I don’t play with anyone else.
I consider social media to be largely toxic. My work requires me to maintain a modest social media presence but my focus is on in-person communities, walled gardens, and the free web.
As a kink educator, I adhere to the Kink Education Code of Conduct.
Consent and accountability are fundamental to my worldview as well as to my professional work.
I’m fortunate to have some fantastic—and highly reputable—people on my accountability circle and serving as my consent consultant. They support me in living up to my ideals and are the best people to talk to if you have questions about me or my history.